As we embark into what is obviously not the end of the world, I would like to give you some food for thought. When did you start settling for mediocrity? When did apathy become acceptable? When did the DJ become the promoter? When did DJ’s start aspiring to become the next Milli Vanilli? Out of all the events I’ve attended this year, all the performers I’ve seen, and most of the releases I’ve heard, the majority of them are completely forgettable. Call me jaded or elitist if you will, but I miss being excited to go to a party. More importantly, I miss getting what I’m paying for. If you’re going to charge a cover and expect people to come out to your events on a regular basis, it better be good. Or so you would think, but instead of getting my money’s worth I find myself in a similar predicament almost every time; wait in a line unless it’s VIP or bottle service, over pay, get an overpriced mediocre drink, swim through a crowd of denim cock and hair gel, and finally listen to a couple hours of shoes in a dryer while redlining the mixer.
Now I don’t know about you, but I simply don’t pay for crap. If you’re perfectly content with that, well all I have to say to you is I hope you jump off a bridge so we can start to even out the gene pool. I’ve never been big on making a “New Year’s resolution”, so I guess I might as well start this year off right, by encouraging people to have the same party going experience we’re used to. Take back your party scene and get your money’s worth.
Here’s a few tips to help keep yourself in check:
- If he’s from Jersey Shore and she’s got big tits, that doesn’t make them good DJ’s.
- If you’re getting overcharged for crap, stop supporting that venue.
- If you hear a blown amp or shoes in a dryer, help out your DJ and heckle them, yell “train-wreck”, liberally if necessary. If they can’t get the hint, leave.
- If you hear more than one Party Rock mashup, leave.
- And finally, if your DJ starts humping the turntables like a cat in heat, you should probably stop going to that venue. Unless you’re into that…
And here’s part 1 of my favorite tracks for 2012: